Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Michael Vick, Taco Bell, and a way out of the doghouse

Curator’s note: Taco Bell president Greg Creed seeks “dog” advice from Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick.

***************************************************

Greg Creed
President and Chief Concept Officer
Taco Bell
Irvine, CA
January 25, 2011

Michael Vick
Philadelphia, PA

Dear Mike,

Good to see you're doing well in the NFL.  But that's not why I’m writing.

We're getting sued!  And it's because of that beef you sent us.  Yup, we finally got around to using your dogs.  We didn't want to, but we ran out of feral cats.

We used the dogs mainly in our Beefy Crunch Burritos.  But people complained that they were a too crunchy.  What can I say?  You've seen the toenails of Pit Bulls!

We're really jammed up here.  If we lose this lawsuit we're going to have to change Beefy Crunch Burrito to Pit Bull Burrito.  I doubt Fast Food Nation will notice - the BPB will probably be our best seller - but still; overtly advertising that we stuff our items with dog parts won't look so hot.

Listen, you've obviously recovered nicely from a dog scandal.  Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Greg


***************************************************


Michael Vick
Philadelphia, PA

January 26, 2011

Greg Creed
President and Chief Concept Officer
Taco Bell
Irvine, CA

Dear Greg,

There must be some mistake.  I sold those bulls to McDonald's for their Crispy Chicken Sandwiches.  They pay more for their "beef."  

Best,

Mike

***************************************************

1 comment:

  1. David Letterman will crucify his writing staff for not coming up with this first

    ReplyDelete