Monday, June 13, 2011

Jim Tressel, Michael Scofield, Notre Dame football, and tattoos



Curator’s note: Ex Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel and “Prison Break's” Michael Scofield discuss tattoos and Notre Dame football.

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Jim Tressel
Unemployment line
Columbus, Ohio

June 6, 2011


Michael Scofield
Fox River State Penitentiary, Gen Pop
Chicago, IL

Dear Michael,

I wasn't sure where to write you.  Last time I checked you were living in Panama, but I assume they caught up with you by now and sent you back to Fox River.

Man were you good on the run.  I would have recruited you for our backfield, but I think seeking out and aiding a convicted felon would only have added to the litany of rules I broke at THE Ohio State University.  (Note: Alcatraz is old news; since you busted out Fox River is THE prison.)

I need your help.  I'm unemployed.  The only friend I've got left is Edward Rife, the tattoo parlor owner who bought my players' memorabilia.  He owes my one for all the business I sent his way.

Thinking of Rife made me think of you.  Personally I don't care for tattoos (my ex-players call them Tats - weird).  But you?  You at least defiled your body for a legitimate reason.  I mean, an entire blueprint for breaking out of prison needled into your skin.  Awesome!

Sick tats!


I'm going to see Rife next week.  In exchange for my 2002 National Championship ring (the NCAA's going to take it from me soon!) he’s promised to Michael Scofield me.  A full-body tattoo that will serve as a blueprint for the rest of my life.  I need some direction - a road map if you will.  Something I can refer to when I take a shower that will put me back on the right path.

Any suggestions I can take to Rife?

Your friend,

Jim Tressel
Former men's football coach
THE Ohio State University


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Michael Scofield
THE Heaven

June 13, 2011

Jim Tressel
Unemployment line
Columbus, Ohio

Dear Coach(ed) Tressel,

I'm dead. The new warden of Fox River forwarded me your letter.

About the tats.  Get a full-body Touchdown Jesus and show up in South Bend to plead for the head coaching job.  It’s about time Notre Dame prioritized winning over academics and character development.

On second thought, go with a tat of Saint Jude.  Notre Dame football is a lost cause.

ND football = Lost cause


Sincerely,

Michael Scofield

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